The GWEN TEN*

* or, things I have learned from my voice teacher over the past few years.

1. I am thy teacher who brought thee to the stage. Thou shalt have no other directors, critics, advisors before me.
   
   
2. Honor thy microphone and keep thy mouth four inches from it.
   
   
3. Flap not thy lyric sheet, but hold it still by thy side.
   
   
4. Remember the bright lights, thou womenfolk, and keep thy face to shine with makeup.
   
   
5. Sing not directly to thy loved ones, nor make eye contact with them.
   
   
6. Dwell near each other, thou duet partners, lest there be a great expanse between ye on the video.
   
   
7. Thou shalt not wear hats, boas, maribou, nor any rainment of poultry in the Cabaret.
   
   
8. Thou shalt not make any introduction, nor make apology prior to singing.
   
   
9. Thou shalt not look upon thy accompanist, nor shall ye call attention to any error made thereon.
   
   
10. Thou shalt not wear white nor pastel colors
    
    for these things are an abomination to me.