December 9, 2011
Obituary and guest book, Dec 6, 2011
"">Remembering Arnie," Jan 25, 2012
Before I share some thoughts about Arnie, I would like to give a special thanks to the relatives and friends who have come from near and far to Akron, even though it has been many years since the Stux Family has called it home.
But our roots are here, and I am grateful that you are all with us today as we remember Arnie.
I want to make special mention of Arnie's beloved Aunt Greta. As Allison has so accurately described it, Greta has a special and protective love for Arnie. She was not up to making the trip from California.
I knew one Arnie, and was always surprised by the others I discovered. He could be private, guarded, and even mysterious. We often joked that he worked for the CIA, and that all his supposed business trips just cover for his secret missions. If we had learned that it was in fact the truth, there would be no surprise.
My brother Arnie was always gentle and kind, without a bad word for anyone. He loved our kids, and Julian and Chloe loved their "Uncle Ernie." He could make them laugh, dance and sing, and always knew the perfect memento or gift to give them. During his visits, Uncle Arnie was at eye level with them, on hands and knees.
I can't ever remember him being angry, Or raising his voice, and I never remember arguing with him. As we got older we would see each other a couple of times a year, and talk on the phone and email, but Arnie never gave much detail about what he was doing, either professionally or personally. But I always had a sense of satisfaction and pride knowing that even though he was a man of mystery and didn't always share his exploits, Arnie had become a good man, living a life full of education, travel, sports, faith and friends.
Arnie went to Northwestern, then to the University of Pennsylvania, and finally to Johns Hopkins where he got his PhD. I always seemed to forget that he was Dr. Stux, my little brother, Dr. Stux.
Arnie travelled extensively around the country and internationally, giving talks to various engineering and professional groups, speaking on things that I can barely pronounce, let alone understand. He was a member of Toastmasters, something I just learned in the last few days, constantly honing his craft.
When he worked at Naval Research Labs, he was selected to attend a prestigious conference in Switzerland that Was a conclave of Nobel Prize winners in the Sciences.
Arnie was obviously very smart, but after his countless explanations of what he did for a living, I still could not figure out his work. Anytime I saw friends I grew up with, they would ask about my mom, Lydia, and Greta. When it came to Arnie, I would shrug, smile and say, "He is doing great. I don't know what he is doing, but he is doing great."
Arnie was involved with a martial arts group, and would sometimes go on what I called Ninja outings, which involved being outside at night, engaging in some sort of combat, from what I gathered. He played in a soccer league for many years, and was an avid hiker and runner. And let's not forget Ping Pong. Arnie played competitively until fairly recently, with success in each tournament entered.
Arnie's interests were endless. Piano and violin started at an early age. He was religious, active in the local Hillel, and could even read trope. He constantly took road trips, visiting friends all over the world. Turkey was a favorite place. He was rarely at home, and never just sat in front of the TV.
This renaissance man was just truly beginning to bloom, and has left us all too soon. His life cut too short, Arnie will be remembered by all who met him, worked or played with him, laughed or hypothesized with him. He loved his rich and full life every day, and your being here and all the messages of support we have received tell us how truly he will be missed.
What can I tell you about my little brother? We knew him and yet, he was unknowable. He possessed prodigious intellect, but told me several times about his joy in playing sports. I remember Arnie, ever the scientist, explaining to my boys how Lego blocks are made, but being equally comfortable shooting baskets with them.
I cannot enumerate Arnie's many hobbies and interests. I don't think I even know many of them. But that describes the Arnie I know and love. The things he liked, he pursued. Without showiness or fanfare. His passions weren't necessarily trendy or mainstream. If Arnie was interested in doing something, he did it.
Our mom says she is glad the music lessons paid off in a life-long love of music. In these past few days, I have looked for solace, comfort and quiet in my own music collection. The poetry of this song spoke to me so eloquently and profoundly.
I live in the hills
You live in the valleys
And all that you know are those blackbirds
You rise every morning
Wondering what in the world will the world bring today
Will it bring you joy or will it take it away
And every step you take is guided by
The love of the light on the land and the blackbird's cry
You will walk in good company
The valley is dark
The burgeoning holding
The stillness obscured by their judging
You walk through the shadows
Uncertain and surely hurting
Deserted by the blackbirds and the staccato of the staff
And though you trust the light towards which you wend your way
Sometimes you feel all that you wanted has been taken away
You will walk in good company
I love the best in you
You love the best in me
Though it is not always easy
We will walk in good company
Photos of Arnie