June 27, 2009

Away, again

"Hart ran out of the house today. He made it a few blocks away, but according to our procedures, police had to be summoned. He's safe now," said Hart's case manager when he phoned yesterday. Whew, that's a relief.

"That's the good news." That's the good news! &#%$*#!
Welcome to my world, where news of elopement and police capture are the good news. What possible mayhem can follow as "the bad news?"

"The group home doesn't seem to be working out."
I must have let out a long quiet sigh of relief. I have quietly considered this myself over the past few months. That phone call must have been a mere formality: Hart's behavior has been so unpredictable and difficult that the decision has already been made to move him back to the main campus.

Sigh. This is Hart's theme: Sabotage your own best interests. My theme: keep trying new and less restrictive options for Hart, hope for best, until the inevitable phone call comes.

Hart is NOT going to like being "demoted" back to the main campus. But I also know that the issue is not what he wants but what he needs: a more structured and restrictive setting. It was his success in this environment that enabled him to move to the group home! In hindsight, should I have been more adamant about delaying the move? Hart wanted to move to the group home so much . . .

"You can explain that it was our decision," offered the case manager. "That way, he won't be angry with you." Thanks, anyway. But I prefer the message that even though I am far away I am always Hart's mom, still active in and aware of his plan of treatment. I am, sigh, used to being the bearer of disappointing news.

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