Legal arguments

Possession is nine-tenths of the law, right? Who knew Jeff was such a legal scholar? By now, I have come to dread the phrase, "look what I found!" Despite numerous reprimands and explanations that things in MY office, bedroom, car, purse belong to ME, Jeff still persists in frequent household treasure hunts. I have started taking harder line, namely that everything in this house belongs to me. All to no avail.

Recent excavations have included:

Mechanical pencils: "Put them back in my office where they were."

Brand-new bottle of rubber cement: "You didn't 'find' that. It was with my scrap-booking supplies.

Toys: "Pay me back for that. I can't give it as a gift after you have opened it."

A diamond engagement ring: I am still trying to figure that one out. I re-found it in the laundry room.

For a while I tried to keep my things locked up or hidden away. But this too, was fruitless. My grandmother's bedroom furniture survived the Nazis, a trans-Atlantic crossing and twenty years in my mother's garage, only to be attacked with screwdrivers a few months ago. I was aghast. "What on earth were you doing here?" I shrieked at the perpetrators. "Looking for Beanie Babies." The reason this drawer is locked is so no one opens it. Secondly, why would I have Beanie Babies in my jewelry drawer?

A rhetorical question, of course. If I understood Hart-and-Jeff logic, I could have spared myself years of headaches.