Recent excavations have included:
Mechanical pencils: "Put them back in my office where they were."For a while I tried to keep my things locked up or hidden away. But this too, was fruitless. My grandmother's bedroom furniture survived the Nazis, a trans-Atlantic crossing and twenty years in my mother's garage, only to be attacked with screwdrivers a few months ago. I was aghast. "What on earth were you doing here?" I shrieked at the perpetrators. "Looking for Beanie Babies." The reason this drawer is locked is so no one opens it. Secondly, why would I have Beanie Babies in my jewelry drawer?
Brand-new bottle of rubber cement: "You didn't 'find' that. It was with my scrap-booking supplies.
Toys: "Pay me back for that. I can't give it as a gift after you have opened it."
A diamond engagement ring: I am still trying to figure that one out. I re-found it in the laundry room.
A rhetorical question, of course. If I understood Hart-and-Jeff logic, I could have spared myself years of headaches.