August 2, 2006

Fashion sense

It's scorching hot out, so we have been headed to our local community pool. One might think that being an "inner ring" suburb adjacent to a major city, some of that fashion-forwardness would creep north, but that is not the case.

Recently seen:

Eeny weeny teeny bikini on very pregnant woman. Diana Spencer could carry it off, being both very tall, not so pregnant and a princess.

Camouflage bikini, trimmed with pale pink piping. For jungle warfare in beribboned bushes?

Cliche´ black socks. Worn with white linen shorts, white printed wife-beater and brown loafers. To his credit, I think they were athletic socks.

Unfortunate tattoo. A belly-button starburst. What was she thinking . . . my flabby, middle-aged tummy looks goooooood?

Very high-cut two-piece suit. Unfortunate look on post-menopausal woman. The effect is the dreaded dinosaur leg, and a bustline three inches above the leg opening. The wearer looked like she was sitting down, even while standing up.

Women swimming with shorts on. We all hate our hips and thighs. Who are they kidding?

I embrace the diversity of our species in all their near-naked glory. By comparison, in my conservative Lands' End one-piece, I look great!

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