Long elaborate sorry tale told as briefly and concisely as possible
I am single, again.
Best summer visitors
My friends Jesper and Pernille visited from Denmark on the hottest week in July. Pernille and I met in Israel over twenty years ago and have kept up ever since. This was Jesper’s first trip to the U.S. We had a great, but sweaty, time showing them around. The boys adored them, after all, they are from the genuine Legoland! It was a wonderful reunion.
Worst summer visitor
Not 48 hours after tearfully seeing our Great Danes off at the airport, I was preparing to take a shower in the quiet and now-empty house. As I reached to turn on the water, I noticed a racoon in the bathtub. I have told this story a few times, so I have prepared a short FAQ:
Best sports for very hyperactive children
Did you scream?
No, I calmly phoned Animal Control, hung up, then started screaming.
How big was it? Kinda medium-sized, probably a racoon juvenile delinquent on a spree.
Once I had a (squirrel, mouse, skunk) in my (attic, chimney, gutter).
Hmmm, very nice, but this was a #^%*&~ racoon in my +#*$%~!" bathroom.
Hart is in his third year of karate, now a green belt. He is the ranking belt in the class of younger kids, so he enjoys demonstrating moves for the peewees. He entered his first tournament and came home with three bronze medals. Jeff started speed skating this fall and loves it. He’s tireless–the other skaters come off the ice looking ragged and exhausted–but Jeff is like the Energizer Bunny, he keeps going and going…
Best school news in a while
Jeff is happily in his second year at the wonderful, magnificent, fantastic Cove School. He has surprised everyone with his growth and progress so far in third grade. The money and effort for legal wrangling with our school district proved well worth it.
The World According to Hart
(on religious diversity)
John isn’t Jewish, he’s Christmas.