Interview (video)

Hart and Jeff participated in an interview about group home living.

Jeff and Hart talk about voting

When asked if people could make you do things you did not want to do. Hart said, “No, and I’m over my time.”

Pre-birthday dinner (photo)

Jeff at Storylab, March 2018

It all started when I was eight. That was the year of mischief.

First thing we did was at Bakers Square in Wilmette. It was boring, the grownups were talking too much. So we left, sneakily. We ran to the highway. We snuck through the park. First thing we did was smash someone’s van. We thought it was funny.

A few weeks later, we decided to go out together again. I said Hey Hart, there are two shiny objects at the school near Central Park. I said, let’s get some rocks and throw them at the window. We broke the window with the rocks. We took the trophies and ran home. We tried to climb through the kitchen window. We stood on the Cozy Coupe and climbed in. We got in but mom heard the noise and got mad. She had to call the fuzz.

The next incident was when me and Hart decided to go out again with no clothes. It was warm out. Mom was sound asleep. Dad was already gone. We didn’t make a sound, we tip toed out. We snuck out to find a new place to live. That didn’t go well. What happened was, we were walking carrying blankets and stuffed animals. We made it to a school. Then someone saw us and said why are you not at home. It is 3 in the morning. He lured us into the school with snacks and gave us some clothes. He asked our names and phone number and called mom. That’s how we got back to the house. Mom was not too happy.

Now I am 24. That was kind of stupid to do all this stuff in the first place, It cost money and caused people worry and caused damage. It was funny at the time, but now I realize it was not too funny. If I still did things like that, I would be in jail.

September 2017, cabaret conference in Paris, CABARET at OCC (photos)

Deborah Goode

Monet's garden, Monmarte

Pernille Jespersen

Performing in Paris

Monmarte

So What!

It Couldn't Please Me More, "The Pineapple Song"

"Sailors, all the time, in, out, in, out!"

Married?!

Jeff 24th birthday

Phantom (photo)

Phantom, June 2017

New friend, Phantom

My new collar, Like it? It matches my fur and my eyes.

First day home. June 8, 2017

I claim this chair as mine!

Phantom is two years old, and was temporarily housed in the cat adoption area of Petsmart. He was offered for adoption by the Anti-Cruelty Society.

More Car News

I don't want to go to the auto show this year. I have my own auto show in my bedroom.

_________________________  Jeff

Don't Sound (or Write) Stupid, Part 4

A new feature wherein I, Lydia, instruct you, the reader, not to make common, idiotic mistakes of grammar, syntax, or pronunciation of the English language, particularly errors that annoy me. As a review, the word "recognize" is pronounced rek-kog-nize, not reckin-nize.

In this installment, I take a moment's break from my usual role as silent grammar scold to address another issue . . . the misuse and overuse of three words. Aside from being trite and banal, these phrases have the undesired effect of making the speaker sound stupid. Currently, I am being aggravated by a tribe of college students (not stupid!) indulging in their use and overuse.

Excise "basically," which is a synomyn for "fundamentally," not a preamble meaning, "I am about to tell you some extraneous facts, not really related to the subject at hand": "literally," which (surprise) means "literal, in the strictest sense." A little hyberbole never hurts, but it has to be used judiciously. Kill me now, (not literally). And then there is "like." Once upon a time during public speaking class, we were warned not to use "uh" or "uhm" to fill pauses. Now it seems, the word "like" is used instead. Stop it.

Don't Sound (or Write) Stupid, Part 3

A new feature wherein I, Lydia, instruct you, the reader, not to make common, idiotic mistakes of grammar, syntax, or pronunciation of the English language, particularly errors that annoy me. As a review, the word "recognize" is pronounced rek-kog-nize, not reckin-nize.

Special request: I have been asked to explain the difference between its and it's. This is a difficult one and the bane of even educated writers. Somehow the mists of time or convoluted explanations have blurred our understanding, leaving everyone guessing (and often guessing wrong.) 

Actually, this is very easy. 

It's is always a contraction for "it is" or "it has." If you cannot substitute either one, use "its."

Don't Sound Stupid (or write stupid)! part 2

A new feature wherein I, Lydia, instruct you, the reader, not to make common, idiotic mistakes of grammar, syntax, or pronunciation of the English language, particularly errors that annoy me. As a review, the word "recognize" is pronounced rek-kog-nize, not reckin-nize.

Capitalization: One would think this is easy, but apparently not, since I get tons of correspondence littered with capital letters all over. Why? Does it look fun? Aside from being distracting and oh-so-wrong, I like to try to figure out if there is any method. For example, if the writer is a native German speaker, I understand, since in German all nouns are capitalized. Perhaps the writer thinks it looks whimsical. Alas, I will never know because any email that blatantly WRONG goes directly in the trash, unread. If you aren't sure, best to keep your finger off the shift key altogether. The computer will do the work for you.

Capitalization is the writing of a word with its first letter in uppercase and the remaining letters in lowercase. Experienced writers are stingy with capitals. It is best not to use them if there is any doubt.

Rule 1. Capitalize the first word of a document and the first word after a period.

Rule 2. Capitalize proper nouns.

Don't Sound Stupid, part I

A new feature wherein I, Lydia, instruct you, the reader, not to make common, idiotic mistakes of grammar, syntax, or pronunciation of the English language, particularly errors that annoy me. As a review, the word "recognize" is pronounced rek-kog-nize, not reckin-nize.

This week, Primer:

A basic instruction text, pronounced "Prim-mer," with a short i.

The initial coat of paint, or pre-treatment, pronounced "Pri-mer," with a long i.

The World According to Jeff . . .

Found: the beginning or end of a high school essay . . .

"All in all, being a twin is very fun."

Spoiled?

"They are acting like spoiled, entitled brats," my former husband emailed. Yes, by normal standards, our children certainly are. Hart almost sabotaged his new job when he pretended he couldn't hear his supervisor talking during a fire drill. Jeff has recently lost a number of jobs because he simply can't or won't follow a schedule.

I survived yet another of Jeff's pillaging raids on my house. The scam is like this: Jeff and I make plans, such as a dinner date. A few hours before I am to pick him up, Jeff calls to say that he prefers to come to my house, which he does. Then he disappears in the house, opening every cupboard and drawer and filling up bags, like Santa Claus in reverse. After I tell him that I am ready to go or that it is impolite to ransack a house that isn't yours, he gets mad and leaves abruptly with his booty.

It is unpleasant behavior, to be sure. The essence of autism is that an autistic person doesn't have "theory of mind," which is why I have said, "I can see that you don't want to spend time with me. You want to take stuff from my house. That is rude and hurts my feelings." To no avail.

This is the delicate dance. How much accommodation can we make for disabled people? It isn't a catch-all excuse for bad behavior. After two decades, I am still confounded by the task of extracting appropriate pro-social behavior. Now there are bosses, supervisors and housemates in the mix. Hart and Jeff are adults now. My influence is limited. In truth, it always was.

Treasure

Status report

L: How was your weekend at dad's?

Jeff: Like a volcano of rhinos!

Favorite London quotes, Dec 27, 2015 to Jan 2, 2016

Train conductor: You Americans are so friendly. Why are you always shooting each other?

Child looking a painting of nymphs in Kensington Palace: Mummy, is that the queen naked?

Passerby: My car broke down and I need seven pounds for petrol. Can you help?*

*I thought that scam was native to our fair land. Apparently, it is universal.

Trivia team

Online, lovelorn?

"In the mid-1980s, a now infamous Newsweek article declared that a single, college-educated 40-year-old woman was more likely to die in a terrorist attack than ever walk down the aisle. The claim, repeated in movies and sitcoms, convinced generations of women that if they weren’t married by 40, it probably wasn’t going to happen."

Yes, I remember the article from 1985. It has since been debunked but there is a new study that claims that single men over 45 are unlikely to marry . . . ever.

There has been immediate reaction, of course, from smug women and lovelorn men. One woman commented that if a man isn't unemployed or morbidly obese, he should consult a therapist immediately to find out what is wrong. That seems harsh but it holds a grain of truth.

A whole industry of experts is willing to advise on online profiles and photos, and there is lots of free dating advice online. As a veteran online dater, allow me to save you men money and time* with two simple, fail-safe bits of advice regarding online dating.

YOU MUST BE WILLING TO LEAVE YOUR HOUSE. To people who are married or in a relationship, this must sound ridiculous but it isn't. I can only say that if you, a single man, contact a potential match, no matter how attractive, how charming, kind or smart you are, at some point you both have to be in the same room. 

I have gotten better at sniffing out married men who are having a bit of fun late at night trawling around dating websites, but you, single eligible guy, what is your excuse? Pen-palling, catfishing and online flirting are not routes to a real relationship. Newsflash: neither are long daily phone conversations or endless texting.

SAY SOMETHING. Hello! is not an opening line. It is a non-starter. Not wishing to be rude, I can always say hello back, but that isn't a conversation. So generally I will tolerate a few days of daily hellos, with an occasional "good morning" before I get bored and stop answering. True, Tinder doesn't offer a profile to comment on, but you can offer a whole sentence about yourself and see if that illicits a response. Go ahead, try it.

* You are going to keep posting bathroom selfies and photos of yourself behind the wheel of your car, no matter what anyone advises, right?

Official dog grooming assistant